I’ll edit out some stuff thats boring or things like links that no longer work. Also, spell check wasnt around back then so I’ll correct some of the really bad spellings.
Introduction
So I am typing this as i am getting paid to work for the state of california. Im the lowest paid state worker next to a student assistant. I am an intern. Since i dont get paid much and am a fast worker i can get a days worth of work complete in a couple hours and goof off the rest of the time. Since it is the first work day after xmas, none of my boss-type people are here to bug me so i can type a lot. I have got really good with the alt-tab switching to cover up my goofing off.
And I’m still working at the same place. Kind of. Different program, different job title, different bosses, different floor, but same division/department/building.
Background
You can find out a little more about me on my home page – [dead link] . I’ ll tell you this, tho. I am into guns, video games, tropical fish and punk music (in that order currently). I just complete building my first AR-15 (i had to buy one before 1999 because i fear a assult-weapon ban coming on, and dont want to be stuck saying ‘i should have got it in december’). The ar-15 is the 11th (i think) gun in my collection. Here i’ll count them out for yous: 1)12 gauge sears robuck shotgun, 1)12 gauge old crappy stevens single shot shotgun, 3)japanese model 38 bolt action 6.5mm WWII rifle, 4)8mm vz-24 czech bolt action WWII era rifle, 5)1918 No. 1 Mark III* Lee-enfield WWI era bold action .303 british rifle, 6) some semi auto 22lr that always jams, 7) a pump action 22lr rossi gallery, 8) my new home build AR-15 with bushmaster lower, 9) my 38 special 1941 special sevices issued Smith and Wesson revolver, 10) a 1903 model colt 32 semi auto and last but not least 11) my grandfathers service side arm – a 1911 Colt 45acp semi-suto pistol. Enough about gun for a minute, now video games. I like the new Zelda games on N64 a lot, its really good. Turok 2 is a great 4 player game because it looks good and you get to hunt a monkey (or be the monkey). And the game that Lisa gave me for xmas, the WCW/NWo revenge. Its good because if 3 people are playing at once you can all beat up the fourth guy with bats and garbage cans. You can just keep beating him til his meter says ‘danger’ then laugh and beat him more. Then he’ll get up to try and fight you but all three people just beat him down more. And when you get you face busted you look all stunned and get bloody. And when you get hit in the balls you role around on the ground holding them for a while. Ahh what a life.
So i just talked to Lisa (my girlfriend who i live with) she said my NRA cap came today. Man i can only dream what it looks like. The firing pin to my AR-15 hasnt come yet even though i was suppsed to get it like a week ago. So im a little annoyed because Steve Mar is supposed to come up from the bay area and stay here a few days and go shooting with us. But if i dont have a firing pin i will not because to shoot my AR-15. What a life. OOps i used that last paragraph.
This is kind of embarrassing since so much has changed in the last 19 years. My ‘gun phase’ was only a couple years. Back in 1998 guns and ammo were pretty cheap. It was fun to go out and shoot cans and garbage at shooting ranges. This was all pre-Columbine and having guns didnt automatically mean you were some right wing wacko. I think in the last 15 years, I’ve only been to the range once (for Keri’s birthday) and all I shot was a pistol. I remember the ammo was so expensive and that it was really loud even with ear protection. I still have the guns but now when I shoot, its mainly pellet guns at rats in the yard.
I still play video games, though. I’m working my way through the new Legend of Zelda game on the Nintendo Switch (that Lisa, now my wife of 17+ years got me for my birthday). I have three kids who I play xbox with or at least watch them play.
So why am i Dave Ninja? Because that is my first name i was born with. My parents were part of the Dave Army program where parents named ‘Dave’ had to name their first born males ‘Dave’. It results in much confusion but not much name spelling (like Tori Spelling?). The Daves i know: me, Dave Smith, Dave Downey, Dave sea-pig, my dad, Lisa’s dad, Lisa’s brother, Dave Smith’s dad (i dont actually know him, in the biblical sense). So at holidays and get-to-get-hers there is much confision, which i survive (and not make much more of an ass of myself than normal) by not paying attention to anything. The master at not paying attention is Bill. You can read about him in you local library or there is a link from Dave Smiths page (broken-link). Bill never pays attention to anything he’ll sit and do something during a movie and near the end goes, ‘wait, whats going on?’ or ‘whos that guy.’ But, alas, Bill is going to move to San Jose to become a professional fighter/math-guy at San Jose state. He never signed up to transfer from Sacramento state to San Jose state (these are universities) so he’ll probably end up living in San Jose and taking classes in Sacto but never go to the classes.
I had a son and did not name him Dave. I broke the cycle! I rarely see Dave Smith anymore. We had a falling out over a misunderstanding that resulted in me ditching him at a new years party on new year eve 2001. I don’t really remember/understand what happened but I tried to make amends that resulted in naught; oh well, water under the bridge.
I still hang out with Bill all the time. He must not have lived in San Jose too long since I dont remember it. Maybe it was between the flat on I street and the apartment on L street. After all his schooling to be a math teacher, he ended up as a locksmith with UC Davis and worked his way up the ladder. Soon he’ll have an honorary PhD in Locksmithery. I’ll see Bill and Karen tomorrow at the swim meet (both his kids and my youngest kid are on the same swim team) where its supposed to be like 103 degrees.
Man, its easy to ramble on and type dumb stuff. Lisa and I recorded Face Off the movie from free HBO last night. She hasnt seen it but i have. I saw it when i was stationed in Cedar City, Utah last summer for a geology field camp. Trevor and i would always say ‘that title has two meanings, 1) they face off and 2) they get their faces taked off and then they face off, Its a two for one deal!!!’ Utah is nice because the govt owns like 85% of the land so you can shoot anywhere. the water sucks tho. This resulted in a month of diarrhea and pepto. I would take pepto everyday. It really does make you poop black after a while. The worst experience was at Parajon Gap. We were mapping an area and then i felt it coming on. Luckily my partner carried toilet paper so i grabbed it, threw down my stuff, and started running to try and get out of the mapping area. I didnt want the people who thought i was a freak already (because all we sacto guys ever was play Goldeneye 007 on Nintendo 64 and i got an ID to buy guns and only would drink Schaefer 3.2) see me squirt the poopy water out of my butt. So i made it to a small tree (it was in a desert area, there arent many trees around) and squatted and did my business. Then when i was wiping i heard some people up on the hill by me. I thought ‘ man i hope they dont see me wiping my butt’ so i finished and threw the paper in the black pile of semi-solids and threw some rocks on it. Then i checked my boots, man it would have sucked to get that on my boots. I smelt bad enough already, since i wore the same cloths everyday.
Well that was rather crude. Lisa and I went back to Utah on our honeymoon and I got the runs again! I have not been back a third time.