my horse drawn buggy needs unleaded

Well come to the future, the future is now, the future is lame.  Now that
im famous for having my name be the last words in the newreivew (not
counting the classifed pagfe, im letting it all go to my head.  I just
have to steer clear of Mira Sorvino and i'll be fine.  New years was about
as lame as it ever is.  It was even too lame to sit with loaded weapons
aimed at the door.  I went all out and got some imported foriegn beer for
the night (laBlatts).  I even forgot to pick up the phone at mignight to
see if there was a dail tone and hope help out on blowing up the phone
company.  My whole y2k plan of fear worked because now i have an extra 500
round of AR ammo and plenty of Dinty Moore stew.  Now i just wish i
wouldnt have castrated myself for fear of future sex-robots.  ohh well
live and learn (which isnt true because we learn from plenty of dead
guys).

Its freaking cold in the office hear must be a y2k bug.  Hey, someone
punched me in the face and broke my nose, it must be a y2k bug. millenium,
millenium * 999999.  Its too hard to type that M word, im so sick of
hearing it too.  Dave smith has been comingf over and playing WWF2000 on
N64.  He's always a chick named debra, i made a charcter called "big Fat
Guy" who is 5 feet tall and 699 lbs.  He walks like a woman and wears
panties and is really hairy.  I would have been jealous of myself in
highschool had i known i'd turn out so cool in the future.

big fat guy also has a black eye and a big red afro. and he has mutton
chops-mustashe.  He does cartwheels and blows kisses and his 'special
move' is that he puts the opponent in the corner and rubs his (big fat
guys) crouch on the other guys face.

Lisa and i are working on getting satalitte tv.  Antenna tv (pronounced
'an-tan-aa') sucks and its all buzy and crap.  Im too much of a high tech
professional (atleast fry's thinks so) to put up with that crap.

Lisa is still hooked on tetris, i cant play long enough to get anymore
highscore because of my ADD.  

end (of the millenium)
kill me